You know how people say you should plan for the unexpected, because you never know what might happen? It’s good advice that.

Certain aspects of my life is so predictable, that when I planned to come to KL to see my son on the first leg of Tour D’ Tom Yum, I necessarily had to have a contingency plan.

You see, my x has become so predictable in using my son as a pawn in her bitterness, that even my sister in

Cape Town, some 7,000 miles away, knew that she would let me fly all the way to KL only to come up with some crock about why I couldn’t see him.

And that’s exactly what happened. The drama of it all *rollingeyes*.

Luckily there’s good people in KL too

With the predictable part of our visit to KL having run its course, related emotions boxed and tucked away, we forked our plans and met up with tree-hugger extraordinary, Ian and the lovely Eve.

Immediately they plunged Julia and myself into culinary abandon at some secret Baba-and-Nonya restaurant tucked away in the corner of a building, which was a much longer walk away than Ian claimed. It was worth it though as Ian demonstrated the barrel of laughs hidden in innocent looking cendol.

With our stomachs full a nap was in order and much desired (considering our 4am start this morning), but instead we headed to the SA High Comm to go and sort out some stuff and meet some interesting people and some not-so-interesting people. But it turned out well and Julia was treated to a good 10 minutes of Afrikaans banter as I sorted out my stuff.

We then indulged in a bit of window shopping over at KLCC and sampled some of the food from which we are deprived in Kota Kinabalu. Our day ended in the company of Ian and Eve again, them clearly being on a mission to fatten us up.

Their local food haunt in Lucky Garden was to be where we gained our first kilos on this Tour D’ Tom Yum, and to make sure we didn’t burn it off in the day immediately following, we chugged it down with beer.

Great day, and all things considered and some ignored, not a bad start to Tour D’ Tom Yum.

We’re Ultimate players and Ultimate players never travel without an Ultimate disc. When you’re traveling, it’s not just a disc, it’s a friend-making tool – friends of the disc.

Having said that, Ultimate players never travel without cleats either, but here we are in KL and neither Julia nor myself have cleats. Perhaps we’re not such hardcore Ultimate players yet. Or perhaps we’ve foregone the 2kg in cleats because Tour D’ Tom Yum is supposed to feature lost and lost of beach sand.

Our compromise was bringing trainers for the two Ultimate sessions we planned – the first one is here in KL and the second we’re aiming for is Soidawgs in Bangkok. Our Sabah Ultimate Guru, Ken Kassim, is now based here in KL, so he invited us out for a game over at KBU. The 3rd taxi we flagged agreed to use the meter and we set off.

We saw the discs flying long before we knew where we where, so it was an easy find. We proceeded to reacquaint ourselves with Ultimate players we previously met at the Malaysian Ultimate Open and also to meet new ones. Of course, their level of play is beyond anything we have in Sabah, so we really appreciated the opportunity.

Ken quickly dismissed Julia’s sneakers as unsuitable to play in and when I took mine out of the bag the gaping soles dismissed mine too. So barefoot we played, which turned out detrimental to Julia, as in one of the first point she managed to stub her foot against the heal of a cleated player, instantly rendering 3 of her toes swollen and red. She would hobble for the rest of the game.

Other than that incident it was a great game in very hot weather and we worked up a suitable appetite, which is just as well, because Ken then carted us off to his usually post-ultimate grazing grounds – banana leaf at Kana Curry House.

Where is Kana Curry House? I have no idea – the road there winded left and right and I don’t know KL that well, so I might well never find the place again. Section 14, says Julia, but what do I know.

Anyway, the size of the banana leaf they placed in front of me was a prelude to how much food was to come. And come it did. For the next 20 minutes people came past with all sorts of food items and if you do anything that looks like a nod you get a portion on your leaf. I appeared to be nodding quite a bit, so before I knew it my banana leaf was stacked. So ate. And ate and ate and ate until I could no more – then I ate some more to clear my leaf, because it’s rude to leave food on your leaf.

Kana Curry House became the second place on Tour D’ Tom Yum where I would pick up weight. This banana leaf was also hands the most expensive banana leaf I will ever have, but I believe it was the large, nearly-half-a-chicken piece that I had that pushed up the price. But good stuff. Burp!

Take me away to Out of Africa

Luckily this was very early on in the day and we had been quite active, because we had Out Of Africa, that fabulous South African restaurant in Petaling Jaya, lined up for dinner. And Ian and Eve were joining, so we knew lots of food and fun was to be had.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. I think Julia went shopping, I can’t remember what I did – I might have been nursing my bloated stomach. Near the evening we met up with I and E and set off to Out of Africa. We repeated a class act similar to our previous time there (except less Vodka).

We started off with biltong and chicken liver pate – it would be rude not to. We followed it up with with pap-en-wors, venison pie and Ian had the ox-tail potjie – trust him to have something of an animal other than meat. For desert we shared a portion each of Cape Brandy pudding and Lemon Meringue pie between the four of us. As usual, everything was outstanding.

We were in time to catch the LRT home and because Ian wanted to take us for one of his action packed activities – which supposedly started quite early – for convenience sake we stayed over at theirs. Again there was some walking involved to get home, but it was all for the greater good as we were stuffed yet again.

Tour D’ Tom Yum is certainly looking like it’s going to leave a few fat people in its wake.

We started off relatively early this morning with a great French toast and mushroom breakfast that Ian produced from seemingly thin air.

We devoured our brekkie as Ian was taking us rock climbing at 1 Utama’s Camp 5 this morning, so we had to stock-up on energy as it’s a climb-as-long-as-you-like deal, and Ian likes to climb very long.

Camp 5 in 1 Utama – Where the mountain come to Mohamed

Camp 5 is located at 1 Utama, a huge shopping centre in Kuala Lumpur. It’s a climbing gym; a place where you go to climb on stuff. Walls, boulders, shapes, the roof, you name it. It tones, shapes and makes you strong for one day when, like in the opening sequence of Mission: Impossible 2, you’re stuck on a sheer rock face and have to hoist yourself from a thin ledge using only your fingers.

It’s quite a large area made up of walls of pre-fab slabs of rough-textured squares, into which hand and footholds have been bolted. These holds are multi-coloured, each colour representing a route that you can take from the floor to the top, graded in difficulty. Ian spends a lot of time here, because when he’s in Scotland he spends a lot of time against real life mountains.

The 4 of were was keen to play, but Julia’s red toes, acquired from the frisbee the day before, had turned nearly black, so she was in no shape to climb. Ian showed her how to belay using me as the guinea pig. It all went well, but at one point both of them were focused on Julia’s technique, I got pinned to the wall and I got myself a nasty little rope burn across the love-handle to show for it.

After that Ian, myself and Eve took turns to climb and after my first climb, which was very exhilarating, Ian showed me the ropes (chuckle) and taught me how to belay a climber, which I then did on his subsequent climb and for Eve later on. Ian continued some teaching with Julia, who then went on to gain her second injury on this Tour D’ Tom Yum when she belayed at 15kg sand bag and pulled a muscle or something.

We were at Camp 5 for a good 4 hours and when on my 4th climb I was unable to got further than 2m off the ground, I suddenly realised how long we had been at it. My arms and legs refused to co-operate in sending me scurrying up the walls any longer, so after the other two finished their last climbs, we packed it up and headed for a very late lunch.

The rest of the day was spent sleeping – partly because of our early start, but mostly because of our arduous day spent against the treacherous cliffs of the Camp 5 climbing walls.

I spent a few hours working this morning while Julia was sleeping off the tough day at Camp 5 and 1 very potent cocktail from The Social in Bangsar.

We got up and out in time for lunch, which we had at Nandoo’s.  Sort of as chili training for Thailand I guess, so I made the most of it and had the Extra Hot Peri Peri chicken burger.  As usual, it disappointed, and as usual I added a healthy dollop of the Extra hot Peri Peri sauce on the table.  Alas, that seemed to have turned into extra sour Peri Peri sauce.  I wonder if they water it down with vinegar.  Anyway, lunch was to fuel me for working while Julia walked Bangsar flat after bargains and good deals.

The evening saw us yet again meeting up with Ian and Eve (where there’s food…), but also Julia’s brother Jon, and fellow reporter JJ and his girlfriend – making our entire group Sabahans and Sabahan-wannabes, or honorary Sabahans as Ian and myself like to be refer too

We revisited Lucky Gardens. Good food and cheap beer, it doesn’t get much better than this.

An evening of generally silly banter and otherwise good conversation were interspersed with great food. Ian and Eve retired early, but the rest of us walked back to our respective abodes via The School – I think it’s a club in Bangsar, but we sat outside so not sure if it’s a club or a bar.

The night was sealed with a jug of beer and fond farewells as Julia and I prepared ourselves for the Thai leg of Tour D’ Tom Yum.

Oh yes, there was this little video clip too….

With loads of time to spare we made our way to the LCCT at KLIA and check in for our international flight. The flight was pleasant and short, and we even gained an hour on the way there (Thailand is an our behind Malaysia). We had finally arrived in Patong, Phuket.

Our contact in Patong said when you get to the airport, ignore the touts, walk out and left and find yourself a metered taxi. We did exactly that and ended up at the far end of the terminal, which was quiet and nothing going on. Wrong advice, we realised.

We made our way back to the right side of the terminal and had to dodge touts, which were quite aggressive, actually grabbing my arm and pulling me, something that immediately made me defensive – it prepared me for what was to come. We eventually found the metered cabs and after mere moments we were heading to Patong, which ended up being about a 40 minute drive.

Our first stop was the Club Andaman Beach Resort, but the corner next to it, which is where Dive The World’s dive shop is located. We had sorted out our first night of accommodation through them and, courtesy of our friend Gav, were going to get help finding the best deals for diving in Phuket and possibly a liveaboard too.

Checking in to the Lamai Inn

After that we went to the Lamai Inn Hotel in the centre of Patong, which is where we were going to spend our first night. It was a little above what we wanted to pay, but the room was nice enough. It had a view – although that view was one of the main roads of Patong, which is still a lot better than the view of a brick wall or having no window.

Everything in the room was fine, except the hot water didn’t work. Patong was hot and steamy, so we didn’t miss the hot water all that much. We had a glimpse as to what the room was often used for when we discovered an assortment of condoms (in M, L and XL) and some suspicious stains on the bed cover.

We then set out on the mission after which Tour D’ Tom Yum was named: eating Tom Yum soup. In fact, our mission was to have at least 1 bowl of Tom Yum soup every day. We get the stuff in Kota Kinabalu, but, of course, it’s nowhere near as nice as it is in Thailand – thus the mission.

Turning left out of the Lamai Inn, we found a suitably non-touristy looking restaurant (we were really just kidding ourselves) where we ordered our first bowl of spicy Tom Yum soup. We also ordered what would become another often-eaten-dish, Kra Pow Moo (if you can say it without thinking of a karate chopping cow, then you’ve got no imagination) – roughly translated as Basil Pork, it is in fact lightly fried pork with chillies and basil.

I often reminisce about how the Extra Hot Peri Peri Nando’s in South Africa was so hot it could make me cry – I relived those memories when this Kra Pow Moo had tears streaming down my face and was burning my eyeballs from the inside. Good shit!

Patong’s Newest Shiniest Shopping Centre – JungCeylon

Later in the day our explorations uncovered JungCeylon – a big, multi-part shopping centre with pretty much anything you could want, including a Carre Four supermarket that sells, amongst other things, beers at THB 25 per can and THB49 per bottle. Bacardi Breezers and Smirnoff Ice where also dirt cheap. We also found a cinema and booked tickets for Quantum of Solace that evening.

The Starbucks, would I discover, had no free Internet access. Although Patong is blanket covered by at least 2 operators and Starbucks does have wifi, none of it is free and prices are in the region of what Starbucks charges at about THB 150 per hour.

Coffee World, far left on the main road as you stand facing JungCeylon, has free wifi, provided you buy a drink from them or any of the other outlets in this mini-food court, which includes ice-cream, pizza, beer and another stall I never paid any attention to.

The catch is that inside the shop there are now power outlets. Actually, I think there might be one, but what I assume was the manager constantly occupied this slot. Outside on the pillars, however, there are power points, but only a few seats are decently protect from the sun and weather.

We also discovered an area behind the shopping centre, past the market and the food stalls, that has cheaper accommodation and we booked our remaining nights in Patong at the Little Buddha Guest House for THB500 per night. They have free wifi, but it didn’t reach up to the 4th floor where we stayed though, but it was fine in the cafe downstairs (and apparently up to the 2nd floor).

So, after some work from my side and shopping from Julia’s side, our first day in Patong ended very sensibly with dinner, a movie and an early night. Undoubtedly the more debaucherous side of Patong was to reveal itself to us soon.