Right, having spent a good two hours in the dark, cold office on the fourth flour of the building which lights are noise activated, I have finally managed to sort a workable blog.

It’s easy to post, easy to read, and it’s mine. All mine. All I need now is a digital camera to get some pictures online, because here in Shiyan there are many things to show.

Today a colleague took me to a place called Ox Head Mountain Park, which is not as long a drive as I thought it’d be. It’s a very tranquil, very fresh and relatively clean mountain forest where it was oh so quiet. We walked through what seemed like a factory precinct to get to the gate, and it makes you appreciate the silence within the park so much more.

I saw a very young looking old woman, but she was bent double with age and problems of her back. She looked like a teenager with gray hair.

Anyway, tomorrow the journey to Wuhan will commence. I will try and update the blog tomorrow, tell a bit about my colleagues and the school where I work. Now… I need to go find a way to warm up my cold, near-dead body.

East of West and far from home is having some issues with it’s own home. I want the impossible really: dead simple, but amazingly good looking.

So I’ve settled for a midway. It’s not so good looking and it’s not so simple. Hmmm. Anyway, it works and it does what I want (I think, this is a test post to prove that theory) and hopefully will provide me without ours of posting entertainment.

Hopefully I can cheat the dates of the post, otherwise how will I get all my old posts from the 3 other blogs I’ve been running on to this?

Posting. Let’s see.

Being organised is a terrible thing.

After literally a month of falling around, not knowing which classes to teach when, not knowing what to teach, and not knowing what the level of English is that I’m supposed to teach, I now suddenly have everything in place. I have a set schedule (thank God!), I have teaching guides and I have some experience of what the classes are and are not capable of.

I’ve got my lesson plans sorted, I have plenty of time to do them, I have plenty of opportunity to adapt them, and things are actually going quite smoothly… apart from the really little ones, they still get my goat. And my goat is not that easy to get, so I need to work on that.

But now that I’m Mr. Organised, I find myself once again with too much time on my hands, and time in my hands is a dangerous thing, because you know what I do with idle time? I think. Thinking is good, but not too much of it. There is too much to think about, to much stuff to analyse, too many places to go with what I’m thinking about and too many things to think about about what I’m thinking about. Makes sense? No, it’s not supposed too. Funny, in Malaysia, most of my family-in-law advised me not to think too much.

You can tell how much time I have by the frequency of my posts, and here I am doing it two days in a row. I’m on the edge of my seat waiting for when I will go to Wuhan to sort my medical tests / visa out, and as is the custom here, nobody is saying anything… so I’m prepared to get up right now, toss a clean pair of underwear in a backpack and be off. The adventurous me. The drop-of-a-hat-me, the me that has already completed the required schedule of 16 lessons this week and now it’s only Wednesday morning. Could have been a whopper of a week, because remember I get paid overtime for everything above 16.

So anyway, back to thinking too much. It has been driving me crazy. Vivid dreams when I’m sleeping, vivid thoughts when my mind is idle, even vivid dreams in between those 5 minutes you get when you hit the snooze button. That’s scary. And I’ve stop taking afternoon naps altogether, because those dreams were most vivid. So I’ve decided, enough! I can’t go on thinking all this much about stuff that essentially is beyond my control now. Stuff that no matter what I can do I will not affect.

For not being religious, I sure think religion is a good thing. Religious people pass their worries onto their God and therefore they are free of it. Whether there is a God or not is not relevant, I think it’s the act of being able to detach yourself from your worries that gives you power. As humans, and follow me while I think a bit, we have to find logic. And to just throw your worries into thin air and expect it to disappear is not logic, so we have to pass it someone, for religious people, to their God. For non religious people, I guess, it’s a bit harder. Who do you pass it to? You carry it yourself and hence your burden.

Today, I will worry no more about things that is not mine to influence.

“Don’t worry. Or worry, but know that worrying is about as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum” – Baz Lazarus, Sunscreen.

It hasn’t really been 2 weeks since my last entry, it’s just on my last attempt, about a week ago, I had an exceptionally long and detailed entry; and what happened? The network conked out and I lost it all between clicking the button and getting the ‘connection failure’ screen.

Yup, not exactly state of the art equipment, which will give problems, especially on a network with cable longer than any telecommunications infrastructure I’ve ever known of, in a building no bigger than a small scale cheese factory.

I don’t even know what the source of the net is – where the server room is, if there even is a server room, and who supplies the connection. Also, China has brilliantly fast ADSL for a fraction for the price compared to the cheapest place I’ve been (Malaysia), yet – you have to imagine, even with vast infrastructure, it totally falls on it’s face (or other, more padded part) when the internet going population goes on the internet… imagine 64 million (which is about half of the 12.8% of China’s population estimated to have internet access) all logging in around 7pm which is when he average Chinese gets home.

I’m sure even the Googleplex would strain under that stress. So, the lesson to be learned is… don’t compose blog entries in the evening. The best time really is in work time, which is when the average person is hard at work. These people are relentless, and it’s easy to see why China is fast becoming a super power. The people never sleep. Ok, they do sleep… in fact, they have an afternoon nap… but then it’s work from 6am till 9pm with only 2 hours for a mid-day nap, 40 minutes for breakfast and an hour for dinner. Work work work. How the population is growing at all, never mind the 1 child restriction in some places, is beyond me. The people never have time to meet anyone.

Anyway, for me life goes on here in China, except for the fact that the 30 day limit I had to convert my entry visa into a residency permit has almost expired. All I need really, is a medical test, yes – very similar to he one I spent R1,200 on BEFORE I came here – that will verify that I have no AIDS, some ungodly venereal disease (which I might well have) or some heart defect via ECG, because god forbid I die of a heart attack in front of the kids, or… what was the other test I had to do… oh yeah, a chest x-ray to prove I’m not carrying the ever-popular African disease, TB.

Can’t blame them for most of the tests. I mean, South Africa does have the highest count in the world for AIDS infections and TB related diseases, and I am a balding, Afrikaans South African, so if anyone is likely to die of a heart attack or some heart related disease, it’s going to be me. It’s just, it’s all such a hassle and such a waste of money.

Now, if I could have it all done here in Shiyan I wouldn’t even be mentioning it, but as luck would have it, and timing would direct it’s discovery, they closed down the unit here in Shiyan that previously had the power to officially conduct these tests. Sure, any backyard quack can give me the tests and verify the results, but not just any old quack can give me the Government Approved Seal for the Official Medical Exam for Foreign Experts. Cause that’s what I am, apparently, a foreign expert.

Oh no, the only hospital capable of doing that in the whole province of Hubei (and Hubei Province has about 12 million people MORE than he entire South Africa), is the hospital in the Provincial Capital of Wuhan. Hey, no problem… except Wuhan is 7 hours by train, or 9 hours (since been cut to 6 thanks to the opening of the high-way) by bus from the fair city of Shiyan.

Airport? What airport? By Chinese standards Shiyan is a quaint village and therefore justifies no airport. Hey, it’s only THE most important car and truck manufacturing city this side of the Yangtze river, but those you transport by road and thus have no business pondering the purpose of an airport.

So, between me and my residency permit lies 1 medical test, 2 days in Wuhan waiting for the results, and 16 – 20 hours of pleasant traveling time in either a mildly comfortable bus, or a bearable (but only just) train. Choices abound. But either way, it’s days lost and in this business, like so many others, time is money… but worse, for every hour I don’t teach, on this trip I will end up SPENDING money. Coming to China has been very expensive… I’ve almost spent all he money I will earn from the standard contract, and the only way to get over it is PLENTY OF OVERTIME. For which, of course, I actually need to be here.

Complaining? Me? Never. It’s purely content for my Blog. I’ve heard rumours that people actually read it, but have been unable to verify such claims. Why? This I can’t tell you? Boredom? Confined to room because of dire illness? House arrest? All likely reasons. An even better question is, why do I write it? And my spelling is terrible, which doesn’t really lend any weight to my current position of English teacher. It’s the typing I tell you… my spelling is fine, but it’s my typing that needs work. And when you’re moving at this speed, you hardly see what you type, so TYPOS (not spelling errors) are common. My apologies in advance.

So anyway, I discovered a little book of magic in the form of a hand written transcript of Chinese / English which is very helpful. It’s the Chinese in pinyin… which is the romanisation (ie. non-Chinese readable) version of Chinese characters. So, once you’ve gotten your tongue around the pronunciation of zhi, zi, si, shi and qi (which to my untrained ear and tongue is all the same) – then you can really just read the pinyin and pronounce fairly accurate Chinese.

I am now days away from communicating with any Joe Song, or more specifically, hundreds of kids hungry to talk to me, as a foreigner, to whom I can only say – wo put tse tao – which means, I don’t know. They must think I’m as bright as the flame in wok full of hot-pot-beef. And watching all those Chinese movies with the subtitles didn’t help me either.

Ok, the length of this entry is starting to border on criminal, so I will pack it up. I’m rambling anyway. Oh, just one more thing – just now I had to quickly pretend to teach a class and had some photos and video taken… apparently for the newspaper or TV or something like that. Hey, I might be famous ! Now to work on my image…

It has almost been a week that I’ve been in China, and the puzzle pieces seem to be falling into place nicely. I now have a Chinese name: Da Zhi. I can even write the characters by myself, but I do struggle a bit with the pronunciation. Even that thought is getting better and better, and I can say Ni Hao (Hello) and xie xie (thank you) so perfectly that the people continue with long strings of Chinese because they think I can say more.

Anyway, so from the previous post just to fill in a few blanks. At Wuhan airport, my final airport of arrival in China, I met Jack, a Chinese English teacher from the school where I am teaching. Friendly fellow, very helpful and courteous and refused every time to let me carry my 16kg bag which was about as big as him. I guess strength doesn’t always follow size as he managed well without breaking a sweat in the Wuhan humidity.

As I missed my intended connection in Guangzhou, I arrived quite late and it was too late for us to start with the mammoth trek to Shiyan. A taxi took us to the far out reaches of Wuhan (or it could have been the centre for all I know, quite a big place actually) where we found a hotel to crash for the night. Quite possibly the first time that a foreigner has ever stayed at this hotel, because as the doors opened on the floor our room was on, the attendant, of which there is one on every floor, nearly sprained her eyebrows as her eyes stretched as big as they could upon seeing me get out of the lift.

After a quick shower in a room which was no different to any western hotel, we headed downstairs for some much needed dinner. After a short discussion about what I do and don’t eat, he ordered a beef dish, a chicken dish and a vegetable dish with a side order of rice. It was massive portions for two people and I didn’t manage to eat as much as I would have liked to. I’m sure my stomach shrunk in Malaysia, as I ate as little as possible from the large variety of fried foods there.

Jack also introduced me to some Chinese beer which game in a ridiculously large bottle at an insanely low price. I drank with vigor as the beer was crisp and refreshing. I would regret this for the next two days as all the traveling, walking and not having any money to buy water dehydrated me a bit more than I realised, and I am convinced there are some illegal chemicals in the beer and I suffered a pounding headache until I managed to rehydrate myself properly again. Nevertheless, sleep that night, came easily.

The next morning we woke up early to go to the train station where we had to still buy our tickets for the trip to Shiyan. We took a short taxi ride as the morning traffic hadn’t started and soon headed into what looked like a residential area with lots of high rise apartment buildings, before we turned a corner and suddenly found ourself on a big square which was in front of the train station. Big squares seems to be quite popular in front of areas where people would gather, such as bus and train stations, shopping centres, etc. Usually tiled or paved with brick, but vast and often empty.

We waited an hour or so for our train to depart and when we finally moved through the narrow crowded tunnels below the platform and crammed into the coach, we found and occupied our assigned seats. The train was packed with not a single seat available. The seating configuration I guess was not unlike trains anywhere else in the world – one row with 3 seats left, and one row with 3 seats right. The seats where configured so that 3 face 3 back to back with the next 3 that face 3. The spaces where narrow which forces you to sit pert for the whole journey. And the journey took… 7 hours. This was longer than the two flights I had to take from Malaysia to China put together.

The train went annoyingly slow at times and I wondered whether this was really necessary, as the track was straight and on flat ground. The scenery was at least mildly interesting and slowly changed from very urban to suburban to rural and we even traveled through some farm land. Shiyan is in the mountains, and after what felt like forever, we finally reached the mountainous areas, passed through some long tunnels and arrived in Shiyan. From here, it was another short taxi ride until we made it to the school.

I was taken to my dormitory, or apartment, I guess, depending on your point of view. I have a living room, a kitchen, a bedroom, and a bathroom. Like the squares, big and empty. The bathroom and kitchen was a bit of a mess, and I should really be cleaning it as I sit here now, but I had a go at the bathroom this morning, and for all the trouble and chemicals I poured onto the dirty floor, toilet, bath, it didn’t have much effect. So i’m goofing off a bit typing before I go back to try again.

The bedroom is nice and big with a double bed and new bedsheets. This is of course greatly appreciated, but I haven’t slept on a double bed since my separation from the Ex. This leads to lots of rolling around at night searching for someone… subconscious programming I guess, I have quite a bit of that going and and need to occupy my mind with something else really.

Anyway, then I met Prince. Fellow foreign language teacher from Ghana. He’s been here for 3 months and took me under his wing to show me the ropes. He’s also thankful for a colleague, as apparently his workload has been a bit crazy with him being alone. He also gets the short end of the stick as even the Chinese are a bit racist towards black people from Africa, and he was happy that a white face has arrived, because this means they will now treat him better too.

Nevertheless, I spent the last few days sitting in on his classes and he is a very good teacher. He teaches all ages from the very young and very cute kids averaging around 4/5 in age, to the slightly older and almost teenage kids averaging ages of about and 11 and 12.

So, I learned a lot from him and on Thursday I taught my first 3 classes. The first class I went a bit fast and used words that the kids didn’t understand. Then I adapted the lesson a bit for the 2nd class and it went better, but still too fast with too many new words and too little repeating, so they struggled to remember the words. Then in the 3rd lesson I guess that was the best. I went really slowly and repeated the new words a lot and the kids enjoyed it better. I based the lesson around my introduction and told them where I’m from…. the people here do not know where South Africa is, so I also worked in the continents into the lesson.

The kids have never learned the names of the continents in English, so even the words Asia had to be repeated multiple times. After words, I thought them how to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight, which my first class sang so beautifully I thought I should record and send to a label. Yesterday, Friday, I loafed the whole day as the schedules hadn’t been worked out yet. Monday, hopefully, I will be in the full swing of things.

Right, it is now 11 o’clock – let me go and try to clean the rest of my apartment before lunch time. I overslept on purpose this morning but also missed breakfast, which isn’t so bad – as the whole week they have been serving steamed bread with some sort of watery substitute for porridge and I haven’t been to keen on that. Lunch is normally the best meal of the day, and I’m famished.

Oh, i also bought some cleaning gloves just now as the chemicals I use are indeed very powerful and would ruin my hands if I let it lie on there for too long. Back to the bowels of the bowls I go.