Flabby Gut be Gone

It’s one thing to think to yourself that you’ve picked up some weight, but when the third person in a week says “oh, picked up some weight, have you?”, then it’s undeniably time to lose weight.

The past festive season is still haunting me with the delicious goodness that it lavished me with. In laymen terms, I gorged, and now I’m fat. ‘Just desserts’ is the applicable, ironic pun.

Flabby Gut is no stranger to this blog, he has featured many times. In fact, he could possibly start up his own blog. He’s larger than life, carries a lot of weight, has a prominent position in society and frequently stretches the limit. Flabby Gut has to be evicted.

The festive season started very early, late November in fact. A slew of birthday parties, house warming parties and parties for seemingly no reason preceded the usual gluttony of Christmas. Naturally, popular activities included the consumption of beer, party food, more beer, and not much exercise at all.

Now, it takes no physical health expert or mathematician, for that matter, to realise that an increase in calorie consumption and a decrease in activity causes the clothing in your cupboard to shrink. It’s true. Another unwanted, visual side-effect of the above equation is Flabby Gut.

And after having to smile, as if they complimented me, at my colleagues at work who insists on point out my weight gain, I realise that perhaps I am a little fatter than I wanted to admit. And fat denial, for me, is a dangerous hobby.

I have an annoyingly sensitive cholesterol level and I know, that when I eat the wrong stuff and don’t do enough exercise, my levels are probably beyond safe. And, have studies shown, there’s no love in love handles, because that’s where all the nasty fat goes. So, when I look in the mirror and see that my love handles have turned into safety railings capable of supporting a cripple elephant, there’s no hiding for the fact that I need to tend to my weight and health.

Luckily, the road to recovery is easily implement. The basic principle is really simple: burn more calories than what you consume. We all know what we should do, we just choose not to do it, which is why we turn into fat, sedentary, cholesterol sufferers. So here’s the plan of action I’m following to evict Flabby Gut, lose some weight and fit into my clothes again:

  • Hourly walks, I’m a computer person, so every hour I take a short 5 minute walk;
  • Core clenches. Whilst I walk, I clench those core muscles, the secret key to fab-abs;
  • At least two apples a day; or any fruit for that matter, as many portions as possible (5 is optimal);
  • Drink less beer. 1 beer is equal in calories to 6 slices of white bread. Less beer!;
  • Eat less fried food!! No brainer, not just fattening, but unhealthy for various reasons;
  • 1 Teaspoon of Olive Oil per day. Chock full of antioxidants and actually increases good cholesterol;
  • Run! I’ve started with a 5km routine, it’s a great calorie burner;
  • Butt clenches!! My spiteful body picks up weight first in the gut, but loses it first in the ass. I like my round ass, so drastic measures has to be taken to prevent it from disappearing;

I started this routine on Tuesday, and already it’s paying dividends. I had to shave my hairy torso to assess the situation properly. Hard to see the extent of Flabby Gut when he’s hiding under so much fur, and it actually looks much bigger without the fur.

Anyway, when I’ve chissled away a six-pack from all the flab that’s covering them now, perhaps I’ll post a pic. In the meantime, here’s to good health (raising glass of mineral water).

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