Last Wednesday, I broke up with K.
Or, I tried to anyway. I took the opportunity following one of our little spats, which I now realise are not spats at all, but merely a form of communication.
“I want to end it”, was my cold, clinical statement. “Fine”, she said, at that moment probably thinking I was just playing. “Ok”, I agreed, “then as of now we are not girlfriend and boyfriend anymore.”
I felt relieved for having said it, and getting it out of the way. “Are you sure? This is your last chance”, she had replied some time later, wielding what she thought was power. “Yes”, I said, not playing a game, but actually being serious. “But,” I said not wanting things to turn ugly at work, “I still want to be your friend.”
Corny, sure, but I really meant it. I mean, after all, we work in the same office and unpleasantness would cause a vibe. Besides, she’s a great woman and the reason I wanted to break up was because I’m leaving Shiyan, and I wanted to get it over with now, rather than later.
“No”, she replied, “I don’t want to be your friend”. I was a little disappointed; but only a little. “Then so be it”, I replied pretending to be the cold, unfeeling bastard.
Eventually we went backwards and forwards and I had to tell her why I wanted to break up… because I was leaving the fair city of Shiyan, never to return. She was upset. Not sure if she was upset because I wanted to break up with her, or upset because I was leaving not to come back; it boils down to the same thing, really.
After some further dialogue, she wanted me to not break up with her, but instead spend what little time we had left together, together. Fully knowing the emotional dangers of going about it in this way, I agreed nevertheless. I do love her.
Since then, it appears I have taken a lot of pressure of myself, and also our relationship. I’m not demanding anymore, I don’t expect anything from her. Yet, she has been loving and giving and have been going out more with me. On Saturday evening, she even came over to my apartment. Not sure if she was lying before, or whether she is defying her parents, but I’m seeing a lot more of her now.
In the meantime, I haven’t told my current employers about my intentions yet. I have my passport, so I know they’re not spending any money on visas and stuff. I’m in two minds about telling them.
On the one hand, I want to do the honourable thing. Especially in light of my future employer starting the offer she sent me with “I know you’re an honourable man…”. On the other hand, these people have done little more than try to connive and cheat me since the start, and I’m afraid if I do tell them of my intentions, I will loose either time or money, or both.
Sucker for the truth that I am (sometimes), I will probably go the honorable way and tell them. Maybe tomorrow. But I need to leave a few days early, and get quite a lot of money out of them in salaries and flight fees, etc. Not sure how co-operative they will be, because handing over money is not one of their favourite past-times.
The third thing on my to-do list is sort of managing itself. First, the Ex took a week and a half to ‘help’ me obtain flight prices for bringing my son back with me. So, as she would expect me to, I sent the occasional sarcastic message to underline the length of time she was taking. Eventually, she did send it though.
I was wondering how I would stall having to buy the ticket (as after her tantrum, I said that buying the ticket for him would be proof that I wasn’t coming to KK to stay), when she presented me with the answer. “Don’t buy the ticket yet”, she said in a message, “because I innocently asked your son if he wanted to go visit you in China, and he said no, several times.”
A second message arrived soon after, saying “He’s 3 years old, he understands things very well.” I wanted to get annoyed at this, but I realised that it had given me the answers to several issues, plus armed me with ammunition to justify accepting this job in the city she’s trying to ban me from. Not that I need to justify anything to her…
So, in mock anger, I haven’t replied to that message, and for now, life goes on as normal.