I’ve been surfing at an Internet cafe recently.
Many reasons, actually, but the main one is that the Internet at school has become as reliable as the date on which we get paid. The network has been more down than up, and it’s a real mission to find that out, as well… remember, the computer they supplied us with is a slightly over sized calculator, and it takes as long to boot as it does for admin to calculate our salaries.
I come out to Liuyan. The Icafe here, above The Restaurant, which is how I found out about it, is huge, well equipped and cheap. It’s always busy, and it’s nice to have all the people around me, even though I don’t interact with anybody. So, here I am. Totally assimilated with the people of Shiyan.
I went to Tian Shang Ren Tian again last night, as a treat to myself for it being my birthday on Tuesday. I’m not telling anyone about it, because why? No point really.
I recruited the Gateman for my sortie; he’s always keen to go. Not a big talker, but we get along fine. He’s very patient explaining Chinese, and I’ve actually learned a lot from him. Pity he hasn’t learned any English from me, otherwise he might just have been able to explain a bit better some of the exotic Chinese he tends to use.
I heard from Linda (an ex teacher at my school) that around the corner from this place is another place, bigger and better. We went there first, I convinced the Gateman to go have a peep with me. It certainly looked nice from the outside, and as we entered we were greeted by 5 hostesses in fluffy outfits. The Gateman had a chat the one leading us down a rather long passage, but halfway down he stopped and said we should go. I didn’t ask why, because I wouldn’t have understood his explanation.
As we got outside and I asked him why, he said it was a house of ill repute, which wasn’t a very good reason for him wanting to leave, I discovered later on in the night.
So anyway, we walked back to the usual place, went in and had a rather uneventful night. In my apartment, before we went out, we loaded up on some evil, evil Bai Guo. Not much, just enough for a bit of a buzz. I had a few beers at the club, and it couldn’t have been a more sedate evening. Of course, the music also sucked, which didn’t help the fun factor at all.
Afterwards, the Gateman suggested he gives me a birthday present. A massage. I said sure, as I’ve been meaning to have one of those, ever since being tortured at the Medical Massage place. But, I said, I do not want to go to a place where they’re going to try and sell me some extra services, because I do not fancy being massaged in inappropriate places. Actually, I DO fancy being massaged in inappropriate places, but most certainly not by somebody who I had to pay for to do it.
Nevertheless, he took me to a sleazy part of Liuyan, a little strip down which I had not been before, littered with Pink Light lit rooms. I turned to him and gestured that I didn’t want what he was thinking. So he pondered it a bit and lead me closer to the street. We entered a little room with 3 girls and two massage beds. It looked kosher, so I entered. He lied down on one of the beds, clearly very familiar with the proceedings.
A girl appeared, and with enthusiasm equal to that of the Headmaster when he talks about our salaries, she started to do what she referred to as a massage. The term massage is so subjective, it’s hard to exactly define it. Her definition was like a weak tea. Moments later another girl appeared. I couldn’t tell by her facial expression if she was enthusiastic or not, because her hair, like an orange Darth Vader helmet, virtually symmetrically covered her entire head. He definition of massage was the same as her colleague’s though.
I started to relax, not because of her technique, but purely due to the fact of her being a woman and touching me. Also, the effects of the Bai Guo and the beers had conspired to form a rather pleasant and overwhelming buzz. I’m not too sure how long the massage lasted, I think I nodded off. But it wasn’t too long, and 10 Yuan per person later, we left. I think the attempted massage effectively spread the alcohol through my system, because after that I wanted to go home. The Gateman wanted to take me to a less reputable place for less reputable deeds, he said, exposing his affinity for Professionals, but I told him in my 29 years on this planet I have never, and I was most certainly not about to in Shiyan.
We took the taxi home. Closing the front door behind me, I stripped naked, leaving my clothes in a pile right there, brushed my teeth (trust me, you do not want Bai Guo residue on your teeth over night), flicked on my electric blanket and dove straight into bed.
This morning I was inspired to clean to entire house. I swept my apartment just Thursday, and already again this morning I had more dust bunnies than could fit on one scoop. I just don’t understand the science of how that happens so quickly. Anyway, I swept and mopped with bleach and now my apartment is shiny once more.